All the programs are now upset! Around twelve O’clock I started for the bank. When I felt for the car keys in my pocket on reaching the garage, it was not there. When I went back inside the house to collect it the telephone rang up to say that the meeting fixed for the evening at the riverside resort is cancelled because some small time worker of a big party stabbed another small time grass root worker of another big party last night. That is fine. Only I have to post the letters which I could have handed over to most of the addressees at the meeting. I went back to the car. It wouldn’t start. I lifted the bonnet and started meddling here and there. My nephew who chanced to see that asked where I was headed to. I said bank. He said today is Saturday and the bank would be closed by now. Even otherwise I cannot move out because it is ‘harthal’ holiday. That is why he himself is seen around without going to his office. One miserable grass root party hand has been stabbed by another miserable grass root. Oh,hell! That means, I cannot get money to-day to buy the wedding present for my niece, I cannot go to the railway station to receive my daughter till six in the evening, and I cannot keep my appointment with my doctor.
The situation is very irritating and annoying. The obstruction to my plans must have been there in my subconscious, and that must be what made me forget to take the car key at the start itself. But the incident only irritates and does not disturb the mind because the circumstances are beyond one’s control. Yet the feeling that I had not been alert enough to be aware that it is Saturday and that I forgot the key, are annoying enough.
But a disturbing thought is normally too deep and would persist. It has a tendency to be insistent and in focus. If you try to ward it off you are sure to fail. If you refuse to think about it, it will pop up by the side on the first opportunity. If you divert your attention, it will linger on the side and wait impatiently. If you substitute it with some pleasant or divine images/thoughts, it will only pause temporarily.
But if you face it squarely, understanding it’s movements as an outsider without going along with it, it loses its energy. For example if you are suddenly angry with somebody for a legitimate reason and you are helpless to give vent to it, there will be no point in boosting up the anger by going along with the resentment and thinking of the incidents that led to it. But one can see/feel the anger welling up inside as well as how the feeling itself work. Once you thus perceive the anger as such, its sting is lost. The understanding remains and slows down the action of anger. You see that the anger is only a discomfort triggered by the incident. The incident and consequences can then be tackled with mathematical precision and logic.
Of course, even then the residue of the emotions involved may be there, but very easy to handle.
The above process is applicable to all fears as well, I feel.
But feeling the process is easily said than done. One has to be aware as and when it comes. It requires a lot of alert attention.
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Anger: ( A few thoughts provoked by KVKettan's note in the blog)
What is the chemistry of anger. It is a chemical reaction in the body which manifests as an emotion with various tones in various people.
Everything the body does have a physiological purpose - pain as we know, is a warning body sends to ensure we rest etc. Anger should also have a purpose. I am not quite sure what it is though.
However, I have always found every anger can be traced to oneself. And one's inability to do something due to extraneous factors beyond one's control. So one is angry at oneself all the time. What purpose does it serve. Nothing that I can see. So I better not be angry at all.
Recently in Dr Vilayannur's book on barin reserach, he mentioned a case where physical pain caused laughter.
Investigations proved that there was a 'mis- wiring' in the brain since these two areas in the brain were close to each other. So, if we find out which part our brain is wired for unhappiness and manage to alter the wiring, everyone will be happy all the time! But as said earlier, the body' basic functioning logic will get disturbed. Chaos after that? I dont know.
Unni
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