past and future are present

Let me narrate an old event in my life on which often I still get angry about the injustice done to me by an Additional Secretary of the Ministry of Foreign trade when I came back from a tour of Europe, and that too sponsored by the Indian Council for Cultural Affairs, an organization of the Ministry of External Affairs. (Skip this para to go to the intended point straight if so desired) It was far back about thirty years ago. I was then employed as the Dy.Director, Export Promotion, in the Ministry of Foreign Trade, Delhi. I had taken leave and permission from the Govt. for the tour following all formalities. All arrangements were made for departure to Athens in Greece with the support of the Secretary, External Affairs, Mr. M.A.Vellodi. A week or so before the date of departure, it appears that the then Addl.Secretary of foreign trade had got transferred and a new man had taken his place. The new person, one Mr.Venketaraman asked for me and wanted me to cancel my leave and join back. When I was orally communicated it over the phone, I immediately contacted Mr. Vellodi, who told me that arrangements already made cannot be changed at the last moment, and that he shall speak to the Addl.Sacretary. He spoke, and I proceeded on tour to a few countries in Europe. When I came back after about thirty five days I was shocked to find my place occupied by a junior officer who has been promoted to occupy my place. Instructions were left for me not to join and to approach the Finance Ministry for a posting. I promptly went to the new Addl. Secretary and asked him what mistake I had committed to deserve this, explaining the circumstances. What he said then looked very strange, illogical and callous. He was not a person who would change his own decisions! He added that I could approach the Finance Ministry for a good posting. Actually at that time there were no vacancies in Finance to accommodate me. I had to just suppress my anger and go about representing my case to all and sundry. Mr. Vellodi in the meanwhile was posted to the Atomic Energy Commission and left Delhi and was shuttling between Bombay and New York. He rang up a few people and had found out that the Addl.secretary, Veketaraman, I.A.S. was piqued that I went against his wish because of the support of Mr.Vellodi, an I.F.S.Officer, although very much his senior. I had to roam around in New Delhi, with no job, no posting, and no pay for over ten months before I got a posting in the Customs and Excise Tribunal. I had ever since been wondering how a person of responsibility can act so irresponsibly and take revenge with such venom for an imaginary insult. Even if I invoke all charitable feelings and arguments, I find myself unable to reconcile the indignation against this arrogant I.A.S. officer.
Well, that was all in the past. Moments that had passed off years ago come back again and again in the mind because of the deep sense of injustice engraved in my brain. The past is dead and gone; the future is indefinite and yet to come. Both are unreal. Therefore live in the present, say all master spiritualists. The present is the only reality and real fact that we know about and perceive, they say.
Yes, but I add that the past is also in the present because my memory is today’s memory and not yesterday’s. It is the memory active just now in the present. Similarly for the projected uncertain future. The problem is only when one goes along identifying with the memory of the past or the projected and imagined memory of the future and lives in it, unmindful of the present. Then for the moments you are in the past, you have no attention in the present. The valuable present is lost. Thus, living in the present does not mean forgetting the past or being unaware of the possible future. It is in fact having full attention to the present. In the background of the past and the foreground of the future, the present lives going beyond the past and the future.
Past, present, future, are all in the present.
But what about the moments in the present when one is bored or when one is in circumstances one is not interested in? Why should one pay attention to such a present? The answer has two aspects. One is that awareness by nature is automatic, effortless, and choice less. It just happens. It is not something deliberate. Attention is nothing but awareness of inattention, (J. Krishnamurthy), or focussed attention. The second aspect is that the present is always new and fresh and is perceived as new and fresh. Boredom comes in comparing with the stale past and being inattentive to the present.