atheism and miracles

Materialism, rationalism, and atheism need not be anti-spiritualism. If one has gone deep into one’s own mind and psych, and probed to find out the truth of the matter, one may come to one’s own conclusion about the existence or not of a superior intelligence that runs the phenomena of life and existence. No body can find fault with such a person for concluding that there is no spirit or God. All the same every human being must feel within himself that there is a super-conscious intelligence behind the phenomena of this universe, and his life in it. How can this most complicated and wonderful system that we see around us occur without a most powerful energy with equally powerful intelligence? My own mind is proof enough for me. If anybody feels it and behave otherwise his mind must be defective or underdeveloped. One is free not to call this extraordinary energy, power or intelligence by any particular name because the names have all been misused for ages and has different connotations and meanings for different persons.
But a problem can arise when we attribute miraculous powers to the Reality and believe that it grants boons on prayer out of turn, cures incurable diseases, and materializes things unnatural from empty space if you placate it enough.
I think therefore that it is not the existence of an Ultimate Truth that is under question or dispute, but the existence of a God in the shape of a human being, stone, or otherwise who grants boons. Such a divinity with miraculous powers may be non-existent.
Finding out the nature and possibilities of an ultimate reality is the finding out of the secret of nature itself. Why should anybody object to the attempt to find out something, why object to the search itself saying or concluding that it is not necessary because there is nothing to find out? This is where I differ with the atheists.
Spiritual pursuit is a subjective probing. Objection to the probing is stupid in the sense that by denying the probing one is discarding half the knowledge, that is, the knowledge one may gather from an intuitive mind, the knowledge that may come from the unused ‘right brain’.
Well, all said and done, I know that I have a will as part of my mind, my little intelligence. This will can change or create things. The extent to which changes can be effected by it may be very small. But it is there. Similarly, the highly superior intelligence in the universe must have a highly superior intelligence that has the power to make extraordinary changes. Power to bring about miraculous changes cannot be ruled out although whether it actually does so or not is another matter. Belief in miracles cannot be therefore said to be altogether illogical or unreasonable, or impossible. But no miracle is governed by reason.

likes, dislikes and sin

We have, or rather I have, natural likes and dislikes. They are in my genes. I can’t help it. I do not know why they are there or how it functions. Opposite poles attract and like poles repel, it is true. Man is attracted to women, the opposite sex. Men like some men and dislike some others. All that is recognizable. I like oranges. Some one else hates it. We do not know from where within us these likes and dislikes originate. Where does hate come from? From where comes spontaneous, unconscious love?
Emotions and thoughts come from desire they say. Just because some spiritual master said so, should I accept it, agree? Do I see within myself it as a fact? Emotions, likes, dislikes, desires come from somewhere far deep within me. Physical conditions do prompt or trigger them but they originate from somewhere else much deeper. They are not to be denied by me; they cannot be ignored or rejected by me as good or bad. They are there. I try to understand them and to find out how they behave. One can sometimes play with them consciously and manipulate them, but never ignore them, suppress them or reject them. They will persist if ignored, they will create unpleasant conflicts in the mind and stay put there if suppressed and rejected. Such conflicts and feelings of guilt remaining hidden deeper in the mind are the only ‘sin’ I can understand.

unreliable memory and backward movement

Memory is always of the past. There cannot of course be a memory of the present. And memory is most unreliable. Inaccurate recording, emotional disclourations, later modifications, and incorrect reproductions make it unreliable. Therefore one need not believe in the past.
They correctly say that the past is dead and gone. Be in the present. Do not go to the past. But even otherwise how can one go back to the past? Impossible! If you do it, i.e., even if it is possible, it would be a fresh journey in the present. Going backwards is always a fresh movement, a new forward movement. Therefore, backward movement is a new forward movement. It is always ‘forward in time’. ANY BACKWARD MOVEMENT IS A FORWARD MOVEMENT IN TIME

illusion or maya and idols

In Adwaitha Vedantha philosophy there is the famous analogy of the snake and the rope to illustrate the concept of Maya (Illusory nature of phenomenal life), in which the rope in darkness is mistaken for a snake creating panic. The real thing is the rope which is the emotionally neutral Reality that is mistaken for a fearsome snake, the agonizing ups and downs of everyday life. Day to day life is thus only an illusion, a play of the mind on the Reality because of the darkness or ignorance of the viewer..
Strictly speaking, the conceptual God or his power attributed to the idol in a temple is similar. The stone idol is mistaken for God. But there is a difference. The power and imagery of the idol is a deliberately created illusion for a purpose, and not a mistaken identity. The idol with imagery being just a tool, is finally to be dropped. But, for a devotee who is not aware of the purpose, or that it is a deliberate creation, the snake is as real as any other. He can only live with his delusion and go ahead with his belief to get whatever relief or benefit his belief can give him. He cannot use it for a greater purpose unless he overgrows his belief.

granite memorials and stone gods

Parking the car by the side of the bridge, we walk along the winding road beside the river. It is foggy early in the morning. The thick mangrove bushes on the other side of the river are hardly visible through the mist. The river is full in high tide; and yet it is calm with hardly any ripple. At a distance, far off in the river, I can spot the reflection of the cemented graveyard memorial of an unknown person. Yesterday I have seen a red hibiscus flower on the memorial placed there perhaps by the dead person’s wife who lives in the small cottage adjacent to it. As we pass by it there is a mild feeling of sadness and depression in me.
A granite memorial in a cemetery is just a stone. Yet, when one looks at it the stone appears charged with a lot of emotions, depression, fear, sorrow, disgust and sadness. It surfaces also several imageries as well, of bones, ashes, decay, worms, last rites, and even ghosts.
In contrast there is the stone, sculpted or not, in a temple. It can evoke awe, devotion, fear, love, wonder, and reverence. Corresponding imagery also appear. They are automatically posited and attributed.
The mind plays both the tricks, the negative relating to the memorial and the positive relating to the temple stone.
Similar is the case with other ritualistic stones also. They are never neutral, emotionally. But boulders, building stones and similar common stones have bland neutral effect.
Image worship has arisen from this character or ability of the mind to impose emotionally charged attributes on inanimate objects, giving them life, movement and power. After all, all gods are conceptual, created by imagery. Whether it is of the memorial or the temple, all power to the stones comes apparently through the mind from an ultimate source deep behind and beyond

looking at myself

“In the smile of the flower that blooms there dwells God; in the cool breeze that caresses there dwells God; In the river that flows quietly, in the grandeur of the mountain, in the trees and the sky, there is God; We pray to thee, Oh, Lord!”
This is a rough translation of the prayer I heard coming through the mike in the voice of a child at the start of to-day’s morning function at our club. It was just part of a silly ritual. On arrival there I had felt that the whole atmosphere of the anniversary festivity was silly, sham, superficial. How sad for an organization in which I am a member!
At that moment of sadness and self-pity it suddenly dawned on me that Man invariably prays stupidly not knowing, not apprehending, what is God or even knowing whether there is actually a god as presumed. Poor Man! He can never understand the secret of Life! And he does not know that he cannot know. And yet he prays, - just because he does not know.
Next day, I saw myself in the video recording of the Anniversary. I felt sad seeing that old man struggling to reach the mike to say a few words (was he lisping!) and chant a few lines of Bhagavad Geetha. That was me! And is that the real me, the physical me now? But I never felt that bad while at it on the stage! Seeing yourself in reality is a strange experience! Naturally on the mental and spiritual side also the image of myself would need revision!
In fact I had not actually looked at myself, seen myself, or perceived myself or felt myself in the real sense. So far, my impression of myself was a built up imagination. I have started only now to look, to see, and to feel myself.
This looking is not the type of meditation in which at the beginning you see or feel thoughts entering your mind and disappearing, slowly making the mind calm, quiet, and finally emptying it. This is different. It is the opposite. I see or feel the thoughts, understand them, understand their relationships, how they are part of me, how they constitute me, how they behave, wherefrom they emerge, study their unique character in relation to what is ‘me’ and what is not ‘me’, and what is their common peculiarity, if any.
My thoughts are unique. My body is unique. Its genes are differently constituted from those of all other human beings. Therefore its functioning has its own peculiarities.
My body and mind are what they are to-day because of certain qualities and defects inherent from birth, and on which the present system of the life of mine has been built up brick by brick.
I have been breathing all through my eighty-one years. But how many times have I actually noticed or paid attention to the peculiarities of my breathing, or was really conscious of the rhythm of my breathing? Only for a small fraction of the long time. Perhaps when I had difficulties with it. That was just for avoiding discomforts. Similarly the beating of my heart. They do their work, whether I am conscious of them or not. I digest my food whether I am aware of it or not. I am not conscious of umpteen other functions of the organs of my body, most of which are highly complicated. I am in fact aware of only an incredibly small number of the infinite actions that my body performs every moment. But now I understand that I could have been aware of very many more functions of the body and mind had I been more attentive to them.
Understanding one’s instinctive and spontaneous behavior with the outside world, or noticing the pains, irritations, and discomforts of the body, is not what is meant by knowing oneself. Neither is it identifying and recognizing a self or ‘I’ within one’s mind, eliminating or subduing the thought processes.
It could be only the complete acceptance of all of one’s thoughts, all of one’s emotions, all of one’s irritations and discomforts of the body and mind, so that one is free of them, and free to use them or discard them. Use for what? Just to pull on with this life as long as it lasts with minimum discomfort. Greater things, if any, could be bye-products. * * * * *

surface thoughts a hurdle - seeing the real

.Minds journey towards the depth of the sub-conscious is somehow blocked by the thoughts lying dormant at the surface of the mind. Alert attention has to penetrate these ‘surface’ thoughts lying hidden as fears, anxieties, resentments and other emotions in order to go into the deeper layers of the mind.
Is awareness nothing more than mere alertness of the network of the nervous system? Or is there an attention that does not depend on the alertness of the nerves and the physical brain? Is pure awareness beyond the mind? When the mind is quiet and still it appears so.

* * * * * * *
To see a thing straight without the accompanying imagery and emotional content is what is seeing the real. Any other sight is unreal.
* * * * * * *
Emotions stir up thoughts. But thoughts are constituted of memory. Therefore thoughts actually erupt from memory when emotions trigger them. If one puts up or stays with the condition of the body and its emotions, whether it is pain, discomfort, pleasure or happiness, physical or mental there can perhaps be inner peace all through. One has to be watchful when the emotions get converted into thoughts. Intellect with its discrimination can control and manipulate thoughts at this stage to one’s advantage.

mood and liver condition

In the early fifties of the last century, there was a Collector of Customs in the Madras, who was well known for the fairness of his decisions but at the same time for being very tough on discipline. Those days cargo by air was almost nil and air travel was very few, and that too by small aircrafts like Dakota or Skymaster. The collector was very powerful as he, an erstwhile member of the Imperial Customs Service, controlled all incoming and outgoing ships and aircrafts through which came every important commodity of daily use in the country, including, talcum powders, bicycles, pins, pencils, sewing machines, motor cars, and what not, which were all not yet manufactured in India. Passengers came to Madras mainly by two ships, the S.S. State of Madras and S.S.Rajula from Singapore and Malaysia. Influence with the customs was a prestigious matter to the whole populace of the city because the prosperity of the city depended on the activities of transit and trade in the port The customs officers were also very important and highly influential people, some of the middle and lower level officers, being members of the prestigious clubs of the city, and owning even race horses, by virtue of their ‘family background’.
Immediately after independence, one day the collector called all the officers of the Department for an immediate meeting. The hall was full. From the Preventive Officers at the lower level, Superintends, Appraisers and Principal Appraisers at the middle level to the Asst. Collectors at the senior level, over hundred officers were present. All were apprehensive of any possible disciplinary procedures that might be introduced restricting their freedom. But nothing of the sort actually happened. He said that he had received a letter from Delhi alleging rampant corruption in Madras Customs, especially among the preventive staff manning the customs clearance of passengers coming through the ships from Malaysia. The collector invited comments. Many officers spoke explaining how the allegation was false and why such complaints arose. The passengers wanted to bring in too many articles as baggage and luggage, and indulge in smuggling. When they got into trouble they complained to the Ministry at Delhi. Mostly it was the middle men and agents who promised help pretending to be close to the officers that were primarily responsible for bringing a bad name to the Customs.
After hearing all speeches patiently he said, “don’t irritate me with such talks. I know fully what is happening. What has been happening all along in the previous years is happening now also. Habits do not change immediately on the exit of the foreigners. Do not pretend to be saints. But now the blame is on me and I am to tighten the measures. Left to myself I would not bother to change any practice. I would like to let things lie as they are without troubling you. But when it comes to the question whether it is my blood or your blood that has to be let, I would rather prefer that it be yours. I can stomach neither your irritating talks nor digest the insulting remarks of somebody in Delhi who has never seen a harbor.”
It looked as if his stomach was responsible for summoning the meeting!
A few days later a leader of the newly formed Preventive Officer’s Association approached him and asked him what was the norm or criterion for transferring Preventive Officers to the then subordinate offices in ports like Cochin and Vizakhapatnam. There was a reason for his question. Nobody was willing to go out from the lucrative postings in Madras port. Very few opted for transfer. Therefore the convention was to send the junior-most or a newly promoted officer. The convention was broken in the case of the joint secretary of the Association and the secretary was agitated over it.
The collector, taking some time to look up from the file he was peering in, replied, “It depends on the condition of my liver. Now, get out!”! The officer was shocked into silence and had to pocket the insult. The association, which had just got recognition then, was not strong enough to react in any way.
The incident, leaked out through the stenographer, was quite a quote for years in Madras Customs. “That depends on the condition of my liver” became a joke or an answer to many a question among friends.
Looking back now I wonder what a profound statement it was that the collector made! Most of our thoughts, behavior and talk depend on the condition of our liver, stomach, kidney or any like organs. Thought and behavior depends on the health of the body. When I have an irritable bowel I am not able to think with any calm or balance of mind. Then I see disturbing dreams at night. Any little discomfort in the body affects our thoughts, actions and talks. Definitely, for a calm and quiet mind one needs a healthy, happy, body. When the body is in pain how can one be happy? It is impossible. Unhappiness will be lurking behind all through temporary feelings of happiness. Happiness is therefore as much a condition of the body’s health as the state of the mind. And, the state of the mind at a given time is determined by the emotions of the moment. Emotions again largely depend on the various secretions in the body. Although thoughts in the mind can reinforce the emotions, I find that they arise from emotions. Therefore body is always the culprit which creates unhappiness. It has to be kept healthy. Or one has to go beyond it. If one can be in a state of the mind beyond the condition of the body he may perhaps find equanimity of the mind including euphoria even while in pain. But is it possible? Is staying with the discomfort, staying with the pain, staying with the irritation, staying with the anger, without converting them into thoughts, going beyond emotions? Will emotions subside if not fed by thoughts? Possible.

euphoria is not real

WHEN?

The tap is open: water flows out.
The fan spins on,
Time ticks away.
Life leaks out
The tank has to empty itself.
When?

* * * * * * *
Blank mind and euphoria:
My eyes are closed. My mind is alert. There is nothing in the mind. No particular thought is erupting except some small ripples of no significance. It is a clean slate. In the placid waters little ripples can always arise here and there. One is aware. Although alert the mind is blank.
Then thoughts arise. Is it the state of the mind where it is kept open and empty? The very question makes it not empty! When that subsides, the mind is calm and one is engulfed in a sort of pleasant warmth, a sort of euphoria.
But what has it to do with Reality? Is not the feeling caused by body secretions like endorphins, enkephalins, and pheramones? I think that one can stay in a state of ecstasy for some time by using the technique of ‘vacuumizing’ the mind. Anything further will happen?