fear and angina

Fear has been all through my life the main basic prevailing emotion. It was no consolation thinking that perhaps everyone was like that. As I grew up I could make out that it was not so. All were not at all as afraid as I was. On the slightest provocation fear and terror envelop and engulf me right from childhood. Of course, the trauma I suffered from witnessing the dropping down dead of so many of my playmate brothers every now and then might have been responsible for a feeling of severe insecurity. But that could alone not have made the feeling of terror persist till ripe old age. Time cures the wounds of such events.
And now I understand why. I chanced upon a convincing reason. I recognize now that the congenital insufficiency of my physical heart is responsible. Even as a child I used to have anginal discomfort or pain whenever I ran fast either in a race or exerted in play. Only now I come to understand that it was angina. On seeing my angiograph CD, I found that all along I had been surviving on a loosely connected ‘collateral’ connecting the multiple ‘blocked’ coronary artery to supply blood to my heart muscles. The doctor who took my angiograph did not tell me that much when he showed me my beating heart on the computer; but I recognized and asked him. He said yes, it was a collateral vessel which could have fully served the purpose had it been well connected to the main heart supply vessels. He said, ‘a bye-pass surgery is even now possible’. I did not choose to have the operation.
And books say that a sinking deep fear is part of Angina! It was there all through. I was born with fear in my heart. And possibly my baby brothers all died because of the insufficiency of their hearts!
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Mind expands in two ways:
The space in the mind expands in two ways and six dimensions. First three dimensionally in space and then three dimensionally in time. It expands towards past and future directions. And it stays expanding in the present. But the vast infinite space is one complete whole! This is sometimes felt when the mind is still, and sometimes even in deliberate attempts of going deep into the past (regression?)