concentration and meditation

My idea of meditation is not any concentration or focusing attention on any particular deity or god. Focusing and concentration are when you chant a ‘mantra’ or when you seek a favour from your deity. Even then what is concentration? On what do you concentrate? Is it on the form of the god, the humanized concept of the form or ‘linga’? When I tried it in my student days as a boy, I was confused as to where to end the periphery of the form. Should I concentrate on the face or the eyes? Or the conceptualized and elaborately described form of the goddess or god, or on the detailed image represented by the stone sculpture? The focusing can be on the whole form with the surroundings as well, or merely on the face or the eye. A one-pointed concentration could be on a single eye or even on a point in the centre of the eye when the object of focusing progressively shrinks. The point can further shrink into ‘nothing’ as the point contracts or approaches zero. Only then there will be full focusing.
This ‘nothing’ can then give a feeling of expanse into the whole mental space because the concentration has left the rest of the vast space empty. When the mind expands into the whole infinite space in which everything seems present, but nothing surfaced to attention, one has a feeling that, that inclusion of the whole is real concentration.
I find that as said by J.K., meditation is a state of mind where no thought is present. Some Buddhists call it the ‘the nature of the mind’, or Rigpa. It is said that if you concentrate on the form of the lord you can get visions of the deity. I believe that it is all for getting some boons or acquiring special powers which they think is possible, but not for getting at the Truth.
In the state of mind that is meditation there is a feeling of concentration in an endless expansion of the mind where everything is dynamically dormant.

fear and fear of 'fear'

Palpitation of the heart generates a sort of sinking feeling, a fear, the fear of death. Here, fear is a physical phenomenon.
‘Fear can actually be recognized as something independent of the thing feared. Fear of death is only this fear in its pure form projected as fear of death, a sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach with any image or symbol of death.
All other fears are also similarly projections of the same fear, mixed with the symbols and images of the thing feared. Once I perceive this directly within myself I have no fear of ‘fear’, and therefore no fear of death

love vis-a-vis devotion

I feel that ‘Love’ is an insufficient and inappropriate word to be used with reference to God and devotion. Yet for want of a better word it is still used.
There is devotional love, compassionate love, affectionate love, sexual love, and love with admiration, respect and awe. In most religions one or the other type of love is seen to be more stressed than the others. For example, in Christianity, compassionate love has more stress, in Islam it is affectionate love and brotherhood that has more stress. Hindu religious idols evoke devotion, admiration and awe in their devotees rather than any feeling of compassion or affection. There is no doubt that all gods, prophets, and saints are known to evoke devotional love.
The emotional aspect of oneness, or the craving for unity is here mixed with various other emotions creating the distinctions mentioned. But people use the word ‘love’ loosely to denote all the variations and mix ups, thus creating difficulties in clear understanding of each other while communicating.
Love at the devotional level signifies the presence of God, but cannot be said to be God itself, because love is ultimately only an emotion. But it is the only unifying emotion, and therefore helps to be one with God. Looking within oneself one can see that sexual love, like hunger and thirst, is an instinctive requirement of the body combined with a craving for unity, whereas pure love is a unifying and ennobling emotion without any craving or bodily need.

what is meant by 'mind'?

What does the word ‘mind’ denote?
What do we mean when we say ‘mind’? Generally, the word is used to denote any or all of the functions of the brain. There are several aspects of the functions of the brain referred to by this word vaguely creating confusion in communication. We have memory, intellect, the feeling of ‘I’ness’ without ego, the ego with feeling of importance, awareness, consciousness, conscience etc.
‘Memory’ is information, records of things, events, feelings, emotions.
‘Intellect’ is reasoning, logic, capacity to measure, calculate
‘conscience’ is the part that has a settled feeling of conclusions, or unsettled feeling of doubt, or skepticism.
‘ego’ refers to the part which feels self importance
‘I’ness is the simple feeling of ‘I’ without any feeling of importance
‘awareness’ in its pure form is, I feel, attention without an object to be attentive about.
While communicating with others it seems necessary to distinguish these suggestively in order to avoid misunderstanding, unless I am referring to all of these together.
When I say that my mind is quiet, what I mean is that all aspects of the mind are dormant and none is active, although alert.

nagging uncompleted tasks

Uncompleted tasks always nag. They lurk behind the present engagements. They lie and wait by the side for attention. And they threaten one with consequences.
Things not done and remaining to be done linger in my mind. Residues, pleasant and unpleasant, of things already done also linger in my mind, and come up floating to the surface every now and then.
Fear of something misfiring or bursting suddenly, lurks and nag.
These generate restlessness.
Restlessness aggravates bodily discomforts.
Discomforts in turn bring up the unaccomplished tasks to the surface and aggravate the restlessness.
Residues of things done not so satisfactorily also nag.
Where is the escape from restlessness when one can’t complete everything one is obliged to?
Eighty-one years of storage is there in my memory – rather heavy. And there is also the built-in memory acquired by birth. And the possibility of some memory in the server in outer space can not also be ruled out.
At a given moment in the present, all these memories try to come up to the surface waiting for an opportunity of a right mood suiting them to come up. If one which is about to surface is suppressed or kept aside for the time being, another, more powerful, gets the upper hand and starts running in my mind. The active mind can thus be never empty. But if I am fully conscious of the comings, goings, and other operations within the mind, I am able to be free of the movements at least for the time being. Then, in spite of any activity in the mind, I am able to ignore all of them to look deeper for anything new underneath or beyond. One can look in the background for anything never seen or experienced before.
But I have not come across anything significant or spectacular so far. It is disappointing, but the journey is interesting. Thought has to be silent, most of the masters say. Can the mind be that silent?
How true, ‘only thought one is addicted to in old age, not Truth’, said the sage!