Monday, January 26, 2009

anger and resentment: restlessness

Anger and resentment:
I find that anger or resentment wells up in me when I am compelled to act while I have no desire to act. Anger or resentment also rise up when I am helpless to act while I do want to act.
Of course, it is from ‘desire’ that the anger in both cases arise. But there is no attachment to any pleasure in these cases. To quote from Bhagavad Geetha, “Doting on sensual pleasures, attachments arise; from attachment arises desire; from desire- when it is thwarted- arises anger; from anger arises mental imbalances like hallucinations; from hallucinations arise memory loss; with memory loss the person perishes.”
While attachment to pleasure leads ultimately to disappointment and anger, all angers do not arise from thinking of pleasures. That is to say that the reverse is not true. Yesterday I was angry at myself for shutting the car-door with the key inside. I don’t find any pleasure angle there. It will be stretching the point too far to say that there was a hidden desire not to have any problems at all and that implies pleasure.
Restlessness:
My mind has the bad habit of always expecting something to go wrong, something unpleasant to happen, or some unexpected calamity to befall; and the mind probes into the memory to find something to tally with the apprehension. And it invariably succeeds to find out something yet remaining unattended that may lead you to disaster. This creates a perpetual situation of restlessness.
Let anything happen! NOTHING MATTERS!’. Is that not a solution?

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