I happened to read an article in the Indian Express in which the author says that he is being ignored by the people as a childish non-entity because he is an atheist. It sounded like a complaint that nobody takes atheism seriously.
Atheists are worthy to be ignored as ignorant. They are as ignorant as most of the believers as to whether there is actually a God or not. Without making any attempt to find out, they firmly believe that there is no God (or even a universal energy equivalent). They are not non-believers but blind believers.
Is not agnosticism with a skeptic mind more preferable? Then one can freely and sincerely find out the Truth, I feel. Then like Buddha nobody can ignore you even you find out that there is no God. And do you think that the ‘believers’ believe because they know? No chance. They go through or do the rituals because they get some mental relief. They want something to rely on. If it is a saving lie, let it remain!
A non-believer is a non-entity because he is a blind believer of the negative.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
going 'deeper and deeper'
My memory and my thoughts are in my mind, meaning my head. I don’t think with my hands or legs or by any other organ. Therefore I have a general notion that whenever I go ‘deeper and deeper’ into my mind, I am entering further and further inside my head. Can this notion be correct?
No. When my thought processes are slowly subdued and the mind is silent I feel the alert attention, not in the mind or head alone, but all through my body. The nervous system as a whole is in alert attention. The core of the awareness is not, as I imagined, at a single point in the head. Neither is it in the heart. Nor in the solar plexus. One can of course imagine that it is in one of these places, and he can feel it there. It can be imagined to be at any point in the whole body. Therefore the conclusion is that the attention/awareness is spread all through the body. And it can also be imagined to be at any point in space!
Going deeper into the mind is therefore not going into one’s head or memory, but directing one’s attention to whatever arises from all the recesses of the subconscious in the entire mental space.
Now, what is behind this attention awareness when it is with no thoughts to be aware of? What makes it tick? Is it at any single point, or spread through all space and time?
I stay with the question.
No. When my thought processes are slowly subdued and the mind is silent I feel the alert attention, not in the mind or head alone, but all through my body. The nervous system as a whole is in alert attention. The core of the awareness is not, as I imagined, at a single point in the head. Neither is it in the heart. Nor in the solar plexus. One can of course imagine that it is in one of these places, and he can feel it there. It can be imagined to be at any point in the whole body. Therefore the conclusion is that the attention/awareness is spread all through the body. And it can also be imagined to be at any point in space!
Going deeper into the mind is therefore not going into one’s head or memory, but directing one’s attention to whatever arises from all the recesses of the subconscious in the entire mental space.
Now, what is behind this attention awareness when it is with no thoughts to be aware of? What makes it tick? Is it at any single point, or spread through all space and time?
I stay with the question.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
meditation, grace, and sexual love
In the meditation I am referring to here, the mind is ‘vacuumised’. The mind is blank, empty with no thoughts present. In spite of the thoughts, images, emotions and the running commentator in the background, the mind remains blank and hollow. Such a state seems to have no value whatsoever. It needs to be filled with devotion, divine love or grace. Is it for that purpose all the conceptual gods, idols, divine symbols etc. have been there, for centuries? Must be. If not those devices, a living Guru has to be there to create and infuse the necessary emotion of divine love.
In this scheme of things where does Ultimate Reality come?
There is a possibility of sexual love filling the vacuum in the mind. Then also the state can be ecstatic with euphoria. But that is said to be a hindrance to reaching Reality, although from sex to super-consciousness is a possibility (acharya Rajneesh). One may be tempted to stay there just like one is tempted to stay in utter devotional ecstasy without moving any further, imagining that it is the ultimate end, the Reality.
A vacuum can be filled with any muck. To avoid that, perhaps, better start devotion early enough! Now that is more convincing.
In this scheme of things where does Ultimate Reality come?
There is a possibility of sexual love filling the vacuum in the mind. Then also the state can be ecstatic with euphoria. But that is said to be a hindrance to reaching Reality, although from sex to super-consciousness is a possibility (acharya Rajneesh). One may be tempted to stay there just like one is tempted to stay in utter devotional ecstasy without moving any further, imagining that it is the ultimate end, the Reality.
A vacuum can be filled with any muck. To avoid that, perhaps, better start devotion early enough! Now that is more convincing.
Friday, February 20, 2009
awareness; meditation and ego
Awareness –energy – intelligence
Elsewhere I had asked whether ‘a fridge can be aware of and feel the electricity that runs it?’ The answer could be that it can, provided it has the ability to look inward, and it has an attentive, alert mind to do so. That is, a man with an alert attentive mind, looking deep inward can feel what runs him from within, the energy-intelligence-awareness that we find everywhere.
* * * * * * *
Meditation and the ego:
When we speak about much misunderstood terms, we have to carefully define the words used. By ‘meditation’ what I mean here is a silent mind with which no thought, image or emotion interferes. And by ‘ego’ I mean here the feeling or self-awareness of ‘I’ with or without self importance.
I find that ego is always present in the mind. All the twenty four hours it is there including when one is in meditation. It may not be very active when the thought process is toned down and is almost silent at times. Even in silence the ego is present in the background. Only it is not active.
But in deep sleep the ego is there asleep and is not at all aware of what is going on. The nature does it work of maintaining the body and mind recouping, repairing and rearranging the routine bodily and subconscious involuntary functions.
The ego or ‘I’ has to be there and be attentive in meditation as well, to experience anything at all including the meditative state itself. The awareness may be aware of the state of meditation, but the ego has to feel it to experience. I think, only through the ego, awareness can express or experience. Therefore eliminating the ego or killing or suppressing the ego is non-sense. One may go beyond the ego, understanding it. That is another matter. But there is no need to commit mental suicide, as some traditionalists advocate not knowing the intricacies involved.
All important words in spiritual expression have been distorted and misused in the course of centuries, and it is not therefore surprising that everything we read is likely to be grossly misinterpreted by ourselves. The only way is to look within oneself and try to find out whether what we read tallies.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
pleasure of feeling big: guilt; urges
What is it that makes it enjoyable in feeling bigger, greater, larger, more famous than the other, in feeling elation, or feeling superior than the other person? Why should the competitive superiority be pleasant and enjoyable? What sort of happiness is behind it?
Nature has provided the animal as well as man with a craving for possession of what it or he needs to survive, viz., food security and sex. For acquiring, possessing and retaining these competition with others and use of force might have been required. This basic urge, when satisfied might have been giving happiness and pleasure.
The habit has stuck to man, and it still persists even where there is no need for competition and fight. When a man has more money than his neighbor he feels elated and happy! The habit of unnecessary competition plays havoc and promotes cut throat competition and craving for success in all fields, money, power, and fame.
But what is the nature of this pleasure of feeling important? It tickles which part of the senses or the mind to give pleasure? Like the tail of the monkey that has disappeared in man, this craving will also slowly disappear, perhaps.
* * * * * * *
Urges and guilt:
How does guilt arise? Wherefrom does the feeling of guilt come? It is simple, anybody would reply. It arises from one’s actions against his conscience. And conscience is created by the notions of right and wrong a person acquires from childhood onwards through the talks and teachings of parents, teachers, elders and Gurus.
But is it entirely true? Suppose one believes firmly that there is actually nothing right and wrong in life, but only consequences of actions. Then if a person is willing to bear the consequences, will he not feel guilt at all, whatever his action? If not, we can conclude that guilt is nothing but fear of consequences.
Apart from this I think that there is a certain inborn guilt feeling in Man independent of action, consequences and notions of right and wrong. Perhaps it arises from conflicts of natural urges within the mind itself. This can be felt inside oneself by observing within more intensely attentive. When a child kills an ant he must be automatically feeling an image of pain within himself that is in conflict with his own well being. Sex is always a compromise between attraction and repulsion. Is guilt’s origin the conflict attached to the sexual urge, the attraction to the forbidden apple?
Nature has provided the animal as well as man with a craving for possession of what it or he needs to survive, viz., food security and sex. For acquiring, possessing and retaining these competition with others and use of force might have been required. This basic urge, when satisfied might have been giving happiness and pleasure.
The habit has stuck to man, and it still persists even where there is no need for competition and fight. When a man has more money than his neighbor he feels elated and happy! The habit of unnecessary competition plays havoc and promotes cut throat competition and craving for success in all fields, money, power, and fame.
But what is the nature of this pleasure of feeling important? It tickles which part of the senses or the mind to give pleasure? Like the tail of the monkey that has disappeared in man, this craving will also slowly disappear, perhaps.
* * * * * * *
Urges and guilt:
How does guilt arise? Wherefrom does the feeling of guilt come? It is simple, anybody would reply. It arises from one’s actions against his conscience. And conscience is created by the notions of right and wrong a person acquires from childhood onwards through the talks and teachings of parents, teachers, elders and Gurus.
But is it entirely true? Suppose one believes firmly that there is actually nothing right and wrong in life, but only consequences of actions. Then if a person is willing to bear the consequences, will he not feel guilt at all, whatever his action? If not, we can conclude that guilt is nothing but fear of consequences.
Apart from this I think that there is a certain inborn guilt feeling in Man independent of action, consequences and notions of right and wrong. Perhaps it arises from conflicts of natural urges within the mind itself. This can be felt inside oneself by observing within more intensely attentive. When a child kills an ant he must be automatically feeling an image of pain within himself that is in conflict with his own well being. Sex is always a compromise between attraction and repulsion. Is guilt’s origin the conflict attached to the sexual urge, the attraction to the forbidden apple?
Monday, February 16, 2009
memory retrieval and intuition
Sometimes when we try to recollect some simple event or name that we know is in our memory we find the recollection very difficult. The more we try, the more it becomes elusive. But when we do not even try to think about them at all, the memories pop up to the surface of the mind. There is some similarity between this and the solving of mathematical problems. Several times during my college days I have struggled with one or other problems in higher mathematics till the dead of night, and had finally given up as unsolvable before going to sleep. But early in the morning while taking bath or brushing teeth, the solution glared at you with a bang when it was far from my mind.
Retrieval of memory is also I think more intuitive than deliberate. A stored item just jumps to the surface without warning. What triggers the memory to push it out has to be explored. Send the request to the memory for the retrieval of an item specifying the details and wait? No. Not that alone. There should also be an intense desire to remember the event or name; but should not think about it anymore. In the case of an intellectual or mathematical problem, state the problem in detail and think about it for some time. Then leave it and wait with the wish to have the solution. It is important to retain the desire to have the solution. Recognize it when the solution appears sooner than later!
But howsoever intuitive one might be, what surfaces from the memory may not be recognized unless the equipment that receives the intimation and presents that to the awareness is working properly and is toned up. Any intuitive signals from beyond also can be recognized only by a properly tuned up mind. Otherwise it will be like the broadcast signals received by defective TV or mobile phone.
A defective or damaged mind worn out by age and not receptive to anything new may be able to receive and recognize only very few intimations if any, from beyond. Or none at all.
* * * * * * *
Depression is physical?
Generally depression is thought to be mental. But I find that depression is not entirely mental. Actually it is more physical than mental. When a person is very active and bubbling with health, he cannot be depressed. Physical health reduces the possibility of ‘mental’ depression.
But doubt can arise that the physical well being is the a result of not having mental depression, and that mental condition is a prerequisite for physical health. May be true. Both are definitely interdependent.
Yet I notice that whenever I am depressed, I can invariably trace it to some uneasiness in the body, which is yet to be manifested into a recognizable illness. Once it is recognized, even if it is to be yet cured, the depression vanishes. Or it can be easily controlled.
I can feel or perceive almost every depression in me whenever it occurs as a physical condition. Depression can be felt as a physical discomfort if one is attentive enough to the goings on inside the body and mind.
Retrieval of memory is also I think more intuitive than deliberate. A stored item just jumps to the surface without warning. What triggers the memory to push it out has to be explored. Send the request to the memory for the retrieval of an item specifying the details and wait? No. Not that alone. There should also be an intense desire to remember the event or name; but should not think about it anymore. In the case of an intellectual or mathematical problem, state the problem in detail and think about it for some time. Then leave it and wait with the wish to have the solution. It is important to retain the desire to have the solution. Recognize it when the solution appears sooner than later!
But howsoever intuitive one might be, what surfaces from the memory may not be recognized unless the equipment that receives the intimation and presents that to the awareness is working properly and is toned up. Any intuitive signals from beyond also can be recognized only by a properly tuned up mind. Otherwise it will be like the broadcast signals received by defective TV or mobile phone.
A defective or damaged mind worn out by age and not receptive to anything new may be able to receive and recognize only very few intimations if any, from beyond. Or none at all.
* * * * * * *
Depression is physical?
Generally depression is thought to be mental. But I find that depression is not entirely mental. Actually it is more physical than mental. When a person is very active and bubbling with health, he cannot be depressed. Physical health reduces the possibility of ‘mental’ depression.
But doubt can arise that the physical well being is the a result of not having mental depression, and that mental condition is a prerequisite for physical health. May be true. Both are definitely interdependent.
Yet I notice that whenever I am depressed, I can invariably trace it to some uneasiness in the body, which is yet to be manifested into a recognizable illness. Once it is recognized, even if it is to be yet cured, the depression vanishes. Or it can be easily controlled.
I can feel or perceive almost every depression in me whenever it occurs as a physical condition. Depression can be felt as a physical discomfort if one is attentive enough to the goings on inside the body and mind.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
life's fight
Life has been a perpetual fight for me, a continuous fight against all resistance to existence. Perhaps for everybody it is so in different ways. Having born weak in body, and having barely managed to survive while five siblings died in childhood, my body had to fight against various diseases. A seed sprouts and comes out fighting the earth. Man fights his environment to grow and live.
Eating your food is a fight against hunger. The enjoyment of eating is the pleasure of winning the fight. All pleasures are nothing but fights against unhappiness. Play is supposed to be mock fight. But in reality, a real fight against your opponent is camouflaged in it. Whatever job you do, there are plenty of fights in it. All competition is fight either for survival or for becoming one up over others.
Fight against illness, fight against fear, fight against pain, fight for right, fight for survival, fights for enjoyment of pleasures, fight for making money, fight for mate, fight for prestige, fight for honor, fight for everything else, life is nothing but fight.
When you fail in your fight of life, the fight to retain your body, you die.
The body fights against pain naturally. Freedom from pain is not absence of pain. Neither is it any effort to avoid any inevitable pain. It is complete understanding of the pain and developing the ability to put up with the unavoidable.
Understanding pain is becoming the pain. Does that mean one need not take relief measures? Definitely not. On the physical plane one has the urge to act, and he acts.
* * * * * * *
Body and mental restlessness:
For the last three or four days I have been having a very uneasy, disturbed, restless mind when I get up in the morning. It took at least two or three hours for the mind to become normal. It was almost unbearable today morning, leading to a tendency to get back to bed.
But quickly I noticed and traced the reason while taking the morning walk today. As part of feeling fresh in the morning I took a few deep breaths pushing my chest forward and shoulders drawn backwards. Relief was immediate. The mind also became calm with the restlessness disappearing.
So, the reason for the fatigue was the nerves that got strained in sleep due to posture defect. My old ‘spondylosis’ was returning! The problem being comparatively less now, it has manifested itself in the form of tiredness, restlessness, and unknown mental discomfort.
I think that ninety percent of the restlessness of the mind can be traced to some form of the weakness of the nerves somewhere in the body, or some discomfort in the stomach. They have nothing much to do with the mind as such!
Eating your food is a fight against hunger. The enjoyment of eating is the pleasure of winning the fight. All pleasures are nothing but fights against unhappiness. Play is supposed to be mock fight. But in reality, a real fight against your opponent is camouflaged in it. Whatever job you do, there are plenty of fights in it. All competition is fight either for survival or for becoming one up over others.
Fight against illness, fight against fear, fight against pain, fight for right, fight for survival, fights for enjoyment of pleasures, fight for making money, fight for mate, fight for prestige, fight for honor, fight for everything else, life is nothing but fight.
When you fail in your fight of life, the fight to retain your body, you die.
The body fights against pain naturally. Freedom from pain is not absence of pain. Neither is it any effort to avoid any inevitable pain. It is complete understanding of the pain and developing the ability to put up with the unavoidable.
Understanding pain is becoming the pain. Does that mean one need not take relief measures? Definitely not. On the physical plane one has the urge to act, and he acts.
* * * * * * *
Body and mental restlessness:
For the last three or four days I have been having a very uneasy, disturbed, restless mind when I get up in the morning. It took at least two or three hours for the mind to become normal. It was almost unbearable today morning, leading to a tendency to get back to bed.
But quickly I noticed and traced the reason while taking the morning walk today. As part of feeling fresh in the morning I took a few deep breaths pushing my chest forward and shoulders drawn backwards. Relief was immediate. The mind also became calm with the restlessness disappearing.
So, the reason for the fatigue was the nerves that got strained in sleep due to posture defect. My old ‘spondylosis’ was returning! The problem being comparatively less now, it has manifested itself in the form of tiredness, restlessness, and unknown mental discomfort.
I think that ninety percent of the restlessness of the mind can be traced to some form of the weakness of the nerves somewhere in the body, or some discomfort in the stomach. They have nothing much to do with the mind as such!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
moods, thoughts and agitations
At a given time, the mind is filled with a non-stop stream of thought on the particular subject agitating it at the present moment. The subject conforms to the mood. The mood may be the creation of the subject, or the subject may be the choice of the mood. The stream of thought is broken only by another stream stronger than the one agitating. But then the first one is only kept aside temporarily, to be taken up later. It remains by the side, still not exhausted. Every thought stream, umpteen of them likewise, lurk by the side, waiting to be taken up in the future. What more do one need to have a restless mind? Often some are pushed to the sub-conscious. They remain there incomplete to nag the present.
Those agitations that have found solutions successfully also come back often because the success is pleasant and enjoyable. One can live in a happy stream of thought, enjoying it for hours together, until interfered by a disturbing thought waiting by the side, or a new sense signal of an event in the present. So many thoughts wait by the side throughout the waking state, ready to pounce upon, showing their face every now and then, even when one is preoccupied with one stream of thought. I don’t know whether this is so for everybody. I am stating my personal experience.
The mind can become still only when you exhaust all the residues of the streams of thoughts completely by understanding them fully. One has to perceive them fully as they are. This understanding is not by analyzing the thoughts or the subject of the thoughts. It is by seeing, perceiving them straight and observing the underlying emotions from which they erupt. The seeing of it is instant and does not take time.
Direct perception of the streams of thoughts as they arise bestows complete ‘knowledge’ of them, and that destroys the agitations, the mental residue of past events and actions. The thoughts do not come back unless deliberately invited. The mind is then free to be silent
memories and retrievals
All the memories of this life of mine are stacked in my mind somewhere so that they may be retrieved when needed. When not needed also they appear, often unwelcome, in a stream of thought. Most of them may have been modified altered or distorted. But they are there.
Sometimes memories not of this life also come up either as a dream or in a day-dream. But these are not recognized as real memories because they cannot be connected to the known events of the present life. They are often mixed up images newly created into a whole by imagination, giving it a semblance of real life. They appear to be new and different from known events. They need not be memories from another life. Yet there are some vivid images and events that are entirely different and do not satisfy any explanation that they are mind’s play. They could be some memory from unknown sources.
May be they are of a previous life. If not they may be the built in memories passed on to you through parents, grand-parents, and all the other ancestors right from monkey downwards! They may be from primordial memories of the history of Man come through the genes.
Apart from all these memories available as in the storage devices and BIOS of the computers, there could also be memories stored in remote ‘servers’ outside the world in outer space which can be accessed if properly connected. And the memories could be forward as well as backward in time!
If only we could find the mechanism of the retrieval system, we might have been perhaps able to know all the past and future lives right now, in this life!
Sometimes memories not of this life also come up either as a dream or in a day-dream. But these are not recognized as real memories because they cannot be connected to the known events of the present life. They are often mixed up images newly created into a whole by imagination, giving it a semblance of real life. They appear to be new and different from known events. They need not be memories from another life. Yet there are some vivid images and events that are entirely different and do not satisfy any explanation that they are mind’s play. They could be some memory from unknown sources.
May be they are of a previous life. If not they may be the built in memories passed on to you through parents, grand-parents, and all the other ancestors right from monkey downwards! They may be from primordial memories of the history of Man come through the genes.
Apart from all these memories available as in the storage devices and BIOS of the computers, there could also be memories stored in remote ‘servers’ outside the world in outer space which can be accessed if properly connected. And the memories could be forward as well as backward in time!
If only we could find the mechanism of the retrieval system, we might have been perhaps able to know all the past and future lives right now, in this life!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Mother Nature and my body
While picking weeds in the lawns a little splinter got into the nail of my middle finger and split it. Blood oozed out on removing it by next day it was tender with nagging pain. The pain started receding on the third day, and by the fifth day the finger was as good as normal without needing any treatment whatsoever.
The body has its own intelligence. It heals itself. The knowledge of healing is built in inside and normally one need not interfere. It is nature functioning on its own accord. Body is part of Mother Nature. But one assumes it is mine and that I have absolute control over it. And assume if I don’t do anything it cannot survive.
This vast universe and your body together constitute one whole unit run my Mother Nature. Any intimation coming to me from my body is intimation coming from Nature. Only one has to recognize it.
What about mind? Is that also not part of Nature? Yes, it is. But awareness, pure awareness seems to be different. The awareness which sees all and because of it only the senses function is felt to be everywhere, in the seen as well as in the see-er. It looks to be separate and independent, although everywhere in Nature. When the mind is calm and still it is confirmed. No proof is required. It is not a preconceived notion.
* * * * * * *
Present and future: bl 13/2/09
The riverside is very quiet today. Practically nobody is on the road early in the morning except Dum and Dee, the pair I nicknamed, taking their morning walk. Coming from behind they crossed me going ahead a few minutes back. I can still see them far away in front with their identical yellow caps shining in the bright rising sun. Unusually for the season there are a burst of flowers of all colours to be seen shining bright in the gardens of the houses facing the river. The unexpected sudden rains that lasted for a week had made the flowers bloom when the rains stopped. Within a couple of days more the blossoms will start withering.
Not a single flower that catches my eye now will be there by the week end. For that matter not a leaf or a sprout that was there yesterday is there today in the same shape and freshness today. And what is there today will not be there to-morrow. Yet everything will look the same for sometime giving the place a semblance if continuity. Actually nothing that is present now was there a minute back and will be there a minute hence. All are different and changed, however small the change or alteration.
Only the memory, the images remain. And the memory also is distorted, modified and altered to suit each person’s perception and emotions, leaving only a resemblance for recognition. The true past is irrevocably dead and gone.
But the modified memories of the past becomes the tools and background for the earnest and deliberate attempts to alter the ‘present of the future’.
And, but for my memory, only what is there NOW exists for me. And but for my senses what will be illuminated by my awareness except my awareness itself?
* * * * * * *
Apprehension perpetual:
When the mind is calm and steady with no thoughts interfering, what is lurking behind is not fear as such, but apprehension. It is apprehension of something untoward that might happen; the feeling that something can always happen to disturb smooth life. Normally the stream of thoughts hides and camouflages this apprehension.
On looking closer I find that it originates from a lurking danger of death, from the time one is born. Perhaps it is a self protection mechanism for all living and mobile beings. Without this apprehension of danger and the resulting alertness against danger, beings would have been exposed to attacks from predators, natural and unexpected calamities and the like.
Apprehensions lurk behind Man through out in the form of impending death, from childhood to old age through youth. The mind is therefore always apprehensive, and this apprehension is one of the things that stands in the way of a silent mind.
The body has its own intelligence. It heals itself. The knowledge of healing is built in inside and normally one need not interfere. It is nature functioning on its own accord. Body is part of Mother Nature. But one assumes it is mine and that I have absolute control over it. And assume if I don’t do anything it cannot survive.
This vast universe and your body together constitute one whole unit run my Mother Nature. Any intimation coming to me from my body is intimation coming from Nature. Only one has to recognize it.
What about mind? Is that also not part of Nature? Yes, it is. But awareness, pure awareness seems to be different. The awareness which sees all and because of it only the senses function is felt to be everywhere, in the seen as well as in the see-er. It looks to be separate and independent, although everywhere in Nature. When the mind is calm and still it is confirmed. No proof is required. It is not a preconceived notion.
* * * * * * *
Present and future: bl 13/2/09
The riverside is very quiet today. Practically nobody is on the road early in the morning except Dum and Dee, the pair I nicknamed, taking their morning walk. Coming from behind they crossed me going ahead a few minutes back. I can still see them far away in front with their identical yellow caps shining in the bright rising sun. Unusually for the season there are a burst of flowers of all colours to be seen shining bright in the gardens of the houses facing the river. The unexpected sudden rains that lasted for a week had made the flowers bloom when the rains stopped. Within a couple of days more the blossoms will start withering.
Not a single flower that catches my eye now will be there by the week end. For that matter not a leaf or a sprout that was there yesterday is there today in the same shape and freshness today. And what is there today will not be there to-morrow. Yet everything will look the same for sometime giving the place a semblance if continuity. Actually nothing that is present now was there a minute back and will be there a minute hence. All are different and changed, however small the change or alteration.
Only the memory, the images remain. And the memory also is distorted, modified and altered to suit each person’s perception and emotions, leaving only a resemblance for recognition. The true past is irrevocably dead and gone.
But the modified memories of the past becomes the tools and background for the earnest and deliberate attempts to alter the ‘present of the future’.
And, but for my memory, only what is there NOW exists for me. And but for my senses what will be illuminated by my awareness except my awareness itself?
* * * * * * *
Apprehension perpetual:
When the mind is calm and steady with no thoughts interfering, what is lurking behind is not fear as such, but apprehension. It is apprehension of something untoward that might happen; the feeling that something can always happen to disturb smooth life. Normally the stream of thoughts hides and camouflages this apprehension.
On looking closer I find that it originates from a lurking danger of death, from the time one is born. Perhaps it is a self protection mechanism for all living and mobile beings. Without this apprehension of danger and the resulting alertness against danger, beings would have been exposed to attacks from predators, natural and unexpected calamities and the like.
Apprehensions lurk behind Man through out in the form of impending death, from childhood to old age through youth. The mind is therefore always apprehensive, and this apprehension is one of the things that stands in the way of a silent mind.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
empty mind; silent mind
When the mind is deliberately kept empty, emotions enter it. And emotions convert themselves into thoughts. In my case the first emotion to enter is invariably fear, or an apprehension of coming fear.
The entry of fear has to be resisted, the mind decides, in order to maintain the mind empty. And that is a resistance which creates conflict or a sort of discomfort. Therefore a mind that is deliberately kept empty has no silence and is of no value. To remedy the situation I tried filling the mind with devotion, which substitutes any fear. The situation is then changed to one of peace and euphoria. But it does not seem to have any particular significance. Is that not equivalent to idling, seeking happiness?
I understand that any practice can give only the result expected of that practice. What I can do is only to be aware of the utter need to have a free, empty, silent mind, -not make it deliberately empty. And wait and be aware passively of what happens within the mind.
* * * * * * *
Now let me see what happens in a free open mind. The mind is free, open, placid with no particular thought just now. I can feel fear attempting to come in. It is ignored. Many images and words enter and go away. Then the present enters the mental space. The sound of the fan rotating accompanied with its image, the birds chirping with some vague forms of birds because I don’t know which bird it is, the sound of running bus, a dog barking etc appear and go. Mind’s running commentary enters. But that goes away when it is recognized as unwanted. Yet it comes again without warning. Past memories start coming. But as the idea is only to watch, they are just recognized and ignored. I do not go along with any memory in a stream of thought. (Only if I am unaware my mind goes along with the past forgetting everything else) Thoughts erupt and subside. Hundreds and thousands of thoughts lurk by the side waiting for an opportunity to enter the mental space. There is of course a vast endless space for all to come in. But when one is in and the mind goes with it, there is no more any further space left.
But nothing unknown, nothing absolutely new, does appear. Even some bizarre unfamiliar things seen at times are nothing but strange interpolations and combinations of known things, as in a dream.
I notice that when one is fully aware of the thoughts, images and emotions as they enter the space, the mind can become silent with no disturbance. The river of thoughts may be flowing quietly outside.
* * * * * * *
Change the perspective: man’s difference:
Nobody can deny that Man is part of Mother Nature. A tree grows and dies. An animal grows and dies. Man grows and dies. Why do we think that man is different? Just because he has the capacity to think differently? The difference should be taken only as a play of Nature, not any more profound than the difference between a cat and a dog.
The attempt of man’s mind to find some power behind the phenomena of life may be only a futile foolishness. There may be nothing; there is nothing. There is only what we see around and what is left to be seen around. And that itself may be the Truth. But the same thing can be seen differently. The perspective can change. The way of looking can differ.
In his anguish man finds or creates some external power to rely on for solace, - a temporary relief and ultimately collapse. May be he is destined to live and die like any other animal. But he is also made to wonder about life and existence. That is the only difference. And that is a wonderful difference in the sense that it can, if intensely desired, make him change his perspective!
The entry of fear has to be resisted, the mind decides, in order to maintain the mind empty. And that is a resistance which creates conflict or a sort of discomfort. Therefore a mind that is deliberately kept empty has no silence and is of no value. To remedy the situation I tried filling the mind with devotion, which substitutes any fear. The situation is then changed to one of peace and euphoria. But it does not seem to have any particular significance. Is that not equivalent to idling, seeking happiness?
I understand that any practice can give only the result expected of that practice. What I can do is only to be aware of the utter need to have a free, empty, silent mind, -not make it deliberately empty. And wait and be aware passively of what happens within the mind.
* * * * * * *
Now let me see what happens in a free open mind. The mind is free, open, placid with no particular thought just now. I can feel fear attempting to come in. It is ignored. Many images and words enter and go away. Then the present enters the mental space. The sound of the fan rotating accompanied with its image, the birds chirping with some vague forms of birds because I don’t know which bird it is, the sound of running bus, a dog barking etc appear and go. Mind’s running commentary enters. But that goes away when it is recognized as unwanted. Yet it comes again without warning. Past memories start coming. But as the idea is only to watch, they are just recognized and ignored. I do not go along with any memory in a stream of thought. (Only if I am unaware my mind goes along with the past forgetting everything else) Thoughts erupt and subside. Hundreds and thousands of thoughts lurk by the side waiting for an opportunity to enter the mental space. There is of course a vast endless space for all to come in. But when one is in and the mind goes with it, there is no more any further space left.
But nothing unknown, nothing absolutely new, does appear. Even some bizarre unfamiliar things seen at times are nothing but strange interpolations and combinations of known things, as in a dream.
I notice that when one is fully aware of the thoughts, images and emotions as they enter the space, the mind can become silent with no disturbance. The river of thoughts may be flowing quietly outside.
* * * * * * *
Change the perspective: man’s difference:
Nobody can deny that Man is part of Mother Nature. A tree grows and dies. An animal grows and dies. Man grows and dies. Why do we think that man is different? Just because he has the capacity to think differently? The difference should be taken only as a play of Nature, not any more profound than the difference between a cat and a dog.
The attempt of man’s mind to find some power behind the phenomena of life may be only a futile foolishness. There may be nothing; there is nothing. There is only what we see around and what is left to be seen around. And that itself may be the Truth. But the same thing can be seen differently. The perspective can change. The way of looking can differ.
In his anguish man finds or creates some external power to rely on for solace, - a temporary relief and ultimately collapse. May be he is destined to live and die like any other animal. But he is also made to wonder about life and existence. That is the only difference. And that is a wonderful difference in the sense that it can, if intensely desired, make him change his perspective!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
violence and cruelty
From where does violence come? From where arises cruelty? Violence is there in nature. We see it every day. Cat kills the mouse. It is for food. When the dog kills a cat it is not for food. It is because of the dog’s inbuilt nature. When one bull sees another, violence erupts. That is nature playing. But there is a purpose behind all this. It is to keep up a balance, perhaps as the scientists have analyzed for the survival of the fittest. In the case of the bull it is clear. The most powerful gets all the mates. In the case of the dog killing the cat, we can say that it is for eliminating competition in getting food. But there is no logic or explanation for the cat to play with the mouse’s agony before killing. This exhibition of the cruelty of nature begs any explanation. This is only one example.
Thus there is unwanted cruelty in nature itself. Then why blame poor man who is part of this very Nature? Cruelty has to be accepted, but can be accepted with compassion where inevitable. There is the myth of ‘Kaliya’ being tortured by Lord Krishna before blessing him with death.
* * * * * * *
Conscious or unconscious intuition:
Learning, namely knowledge acquisition, however studious one might be, does not give him the power of pure intelligence and the open mindedness of intuition. Nor does it come from precise mathematical type of logic and reasoning. Intuition comes from the right brain, science says.
Strangely, intuition comes more to the innocent and the simple minded, who are not used to much logic. In the good old days, the pundits used children and simple minded followers for seeing intuitive visions or hearing supernatural voices, in order to make predictions. I once saw a six year old boy in our own house being used to find out a lost cow grazing in a far off field by looking into a betel leaf smeared with precipitated lead!. It worked and the lost cow was caught and brought back.
The above phenomenon is an example of unconscious intuition. A child’s intuitive finding of a lost animal or article is different from the intuitive powers acquired by great Gurus on in-depth meditation for long periods. They are known to predict future and foresee things by conscious intuition. Man is definitely not yet able to tap the potentiality of his own mind because the vast majority is yet to turn it’s attention inward.
Thus there is unwanted cruelty in nature itself. Then why blame poor man who is part of this very Nature? Cruelty has to be accepted, but can be accepted with compassion where inevitable. There is the myth of ‘Kaliya’ being tortured by Lord Krishna before blessing him with death.
* * * * * * *
Conscious or unconscious intuition:
Learning, namely knowledge acquisition, however studious one might be, does not give him the power of pure intelligence and the open mindedness of intuition. Nor does it come from precise mathematical type of logic and reasoning. Intuition comes from the right brain, science says.
Strangely, intuition comes more to the innocent and the simple minded, who are not used to much logic. In the good old days, the pundits used children and simple minded followers for seeing intuitive visions or hearing supernatural voices, in order to make predictions. I once saw a six year old boy in our own house being used to find out a lost cow grazing in a far off field by looking into a betel leaf smeared with precipitated lead!. It worked and the lost cow was caught and brought back.
The above phenomenon is an example of unconscious intuition. A child’s intuitive finding of a lost animal or article is different from the intuitive powers acquired by great Gurus on in-depth meditation for long periods. They are known to predict future and foresee things by conscious intuition. Man is definitely not yet able to tap the potentiality of his own mind because the vast majority is yet to turn it’s attention inward.
relaxation in regression and meditation
Relaxation is common to ordinary sleep, hypnotic sleep, regression, and meditation. In all these the body and mind are felt to be relaxed. In ordinary sleep, the mind is also fully asleep, i.e, in the deep sleep state; but not in the dream state. In dreams the mind wanders aimlessly imagining disjointed things without the control of the discriminating faculty, which is not in function.
In hypnotic sleep, body is relaxed, the mind although relaxed, is controlled by instructions from outside, or is self induced.
In regression, the mind wanders in the subconscious and also in the further deep areas of the mind.
In meditation, the relaxed mind seem to be waiting by the side, lurking somewhere behind, hiding, ready to spring up at an opportunity with something immediate. But the images and thoughts seem to be afraid to show themselves because they are all surely fictitious without substance.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
State of the mind:
Is Reality a state of the mind, say, like meditation? A doubt does arise.
In devotional meditation, you conceive an image of a deity like that of Siva or Ganesha, and attribute all sorts of qualities to the image. Then you put your entire trust, all faith, all devotion, all your emotions on to it and surrender your being itself to the concept. You imagine and believe that the deity with the attribute is the reality and the only Reality. Nothing else exists. The mind is then filled with the emotion of devotion, or devotional love. A euphoria is the result. Is it not that then a state of the mind?
In the other type of meditation, in the ‘vacuumising’ type, no thought or image is present. Thoughts and images have all come and gone and the mind is silent with nothing, no thought, image or anything present. There is absolute peace. Is it not also a state of the mind? In the conceptual devotion there is one image. In the other there is no image. But both are states of mind. Is Reality like that, a state of mind?
But it may be argued that when no thought at all is present, or when only one is present how can any question arise? There cannot be any space left for question. The question fizzles out even before the reality enters the arena?
* * * * * * *
Avacuumized mind is a real vacuum. A blank slate. But any thought can erupt. Anything from the past or even from the future can come up. If the future comes up you can predict. Is that how future is foretold?
In hypnotic sleep, body is relaxed, the mind although relaxed, is controlled by instructions from outside, or is self induced.
In regression, the mind wanders in the subconscious and also in the further deep areas of the mind.
In meditation, the relaxed mind seem to be waiting by the side, lurking somewhere behind, hiding, ready to spring up at an opportunity with something immediate. But the images and thoughts seem to be afraid to show themselves because they are all surely fictitious without substance.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
State of the mind:
Is Reality a state of the mind, say, like meditation? A doubt does arise.
In devotional meditation, you conceive an image of a deity like that of Siva or Ganesha, and attribute all sorts of qualities to the image. Then you put your entire trust, all faith, all devotion, all your emotions on to it and surrender your being itself to the concept. You imagine and believe that the deity with the attribute is the reality and the only Reality. Nothing else exists. The mind is then filled with the emotion of devotion, or devotional love. A euphoria is the result. Is it not that then a state of the mind?
In the other type of meditation, in the ‘vacuumising’ type, no thought or image is present. Thoughts and images have all come and gone and the mind is silent with nothing, no thought, image or anything present. There is absolute peace. Is it not also a state of the mind? In the conceptual devotion there is one image. In the other there is no image. But both are states of mind. Is Reality like that, a state of mind?
But it may be argued that when no thought at all is present, or when only one is present how can any question arise? There cannot be any space left for question. The question fizzles out even before the reality enters the arena?
* * * * * * *
Avacuumized mind is a real vacuum. A blank slate. But any thought can erupt. Anything from the past or even from the future can come up. If the future comes up you can predict. Is that how future is foretold?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
regression to the past
I decided to attempt a self-induced regression into the past. The procedure is adapted from what is given in a book. The body is made to relax completely but at the same time is alert without allowing it to sleep. The whole body is enclosed in a cocoon of alertness. There is no thought or image within that cocoon of body and mind. The empty space of the cocoon can expand endlessly into the whole universe and beyond. When a sort of reverence with euphoria enters that expanded space in the mind one is in a state of infinite expansion.
But what has that to do with regression? No incident of the past is coming to the mind, nor is the mind projecting into the future. I don’t find any, even after several attempts.
Of course, the procedure is very very pleasant and nice!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Mental space expands endlessly when no thoughts are present in the mind. Alert attention without an object is then possible. Thoughts otherwise interfere with attention giving it an object.
Gods are, I think, toys for the mind/thought to play with so that attention can be made free to be diverted towards the infinite space of reverence.
I notice that disturbing thoughts come from restlessness – the restlessness created by the discomfort of the body in which the mind is imprisoned. One has to therefore go beyond the restlessness. In other words the attention has to function in spite of the restlessness, if the restlessness itself cannot be contained for some reason, may be congenital defect or due to chronic sickness. It is clearly difficult.
When thoughts are absorbed in the toy viz. a conceptual god, the mind freely expands. Expands to reality?
But what has that to do with regression? No incident of the past is coming to the mind, nor is the mind projecting into the future. I don’t find any, even after several attempts.
Of course, the procedure is very very pleasant and nice!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Mental space expands endlessly when no thoughts are present in the mind. Alert attention without an object is then possible. Thoughts otherwise interfere with attention giving it an object.
Gods are, I think, toys for the mind/thought to play with so that attention can be made free to be diverted towards the infinite space of reverence.
I notice that disturbing thoughts come from restlessness – the restlessness created by the discomfort of the body in which the mind is imprisoned. One has to therefore go beyond the restlessness. In other words the attention has to function in spite of the restlessness, if the restlessness itself cannot be contained for some reason, may be congenital defect or due to chronic sickness. It is clearly difficult.
When thoughts are absorbed in the toy viz. a conceptual god, the mind freely expands. Expands to reality?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
miracles from mind
Vikraman Nair lost everything in his business of running a wayside shanty restaurant. He had to sell his house and move out. A straightforward, honest and devout person, he was offered a room in a choultry, by the trusties of the nearby temple. He stayed there with his wife, for a small monthly rent. With no regular job, he was finding it difficult to find money enough to even pay that rent with the meager income he earned by selling odd things as a door to door salesman. And he knew that the trusties would not be able to allow him to stay there for long. His ailing wife added to his burden. He could only lament, and pray to his favorite deity. But instead of any immediate relief, he found himself in hospital with high blood pressure when he fell dizzy walking on the road.
In the hospital he chanced to meet a school teacher who used to frequent his restaurant when it was running well. On learning about his predicament, the teacher offered him accommodation in the small house of his which had fallen vacant and for which he said he was looking for a tenant. ‘Mr.Nair can stay there for the time being’, he had said. On leaving the hospital Nair hesitantly shifted his residence wondering what would be the amount he might have to pay, and how he would pay it. He got the house cleaned meticulously with the help of his wife who was by then feeling better and decided to discuss the rent with the teacher. After all, the landlord knew the situation well.
When the teacher visited the house next day he was happy to see it free of cobwebs and dust, appearing spic and span. When Nair enquired about the rent to be paid, the teacher replied that if he was very particular he could pay a token amount of Re 1/= per month! He said he did not expect any rent but just wanted somebody who would look after the property and maintain it clean.
Vikraman Nair could hardly believe it. He is absolutely sure that the meeting of the teacher in the hospital and his offer of the house is a great miracle brought about by his favorite deity to whom he had surrendered his fate!
Normally improbable events and coincidences are seen to be miracles depending upon the wonder element in the perception of the person experiencing them. All happenings can be miracles or supernatural events if one sees them so. The mind sees good happenings, especially those which are not expected, as miracles, but accidents and bad happenings are seen as ill luck or God’s wrath. Or it is condemned as the work of evil supernatural forces.
It is generally said that Godmen do not perform miracles, but miracles just happen in their presence. Strange things do happen on this earth. The viewers make it either sacred miracles or evil tragedies caused by supernatural forces.. This is not to discount supernatural or supra-normal phenomena for which explanations are not yet available or not yet found. But the vast majority, in my opinion is mind’s play. So many tricks are available for the mind to play, like illusions, self hypnosis, visions, unfulfilled desires, hallucinations and even strong beliefs.
For example, I have come across a paranormal phenomena believed to be supernatural by many. My friend’s wife Kala was the only child of her parents. It was her mother who brought her up after her father’s death, and they were too much attached to each other. The mother stayed with the daughter even after the latter’s marriage till her death about six or seven years ago. Thereafter every year on the death anniversary (on the day rituals are due to be performed) a crow makes its presence before Kala without fail. Kala makes it a point to feed it also. If Kala forgets the day in any year, the crow’s visit reminds her! She is of course not sure that it is the same crow which visits every year. May be a different one. But sure and certain, the crow came, sometimes when she least expected it, and when she did not know that it was the anniversary day till she looked at the calendar on seeing the crow. Kala and many others believe that it is the soul of her mother that visits her through the crow. It appears that this year the crow did not visit, but her mother herself appeared in her dream on the death anniversary day!
I am inclined to explain this phenomenon as follows. Her mother’s death and the particular day are deeply engraved in her memory. It is always there in her sub-conscious. The sub-conscious becomes automatically alert as the day of the anniversary nears. The mind has the capacity to monitor the day. There is a mental clock and a sort of calendar working in our minds. We often find ourselves waking up without an alarm to meet an emergency. The intensity of her attachment to her mother makes Kala’s subconscious to monitor the day without her conscious participation.
Crow is a universal bird. We see it everyday, but do not notice it particularly or attach any significance to it when noticed. But when Kala sees a crow on that particular day, things click into position in her mind and trigger the mechanism in the mind to remind her of the significance of seeing the crow. The whole phenomenon is coming from her own mind. This time, instead of noticing the crow, her mind showed her mother in a dream. If a person is psychic by nature these things happen all the more.
All supernatural phenomena are in our minds. Aren’t they?
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