pure fear, moods, Truth, movements of mind, hunches

noticing movements in the mind:

The UPS inverter to which my computer system is connected is down. The battery does not get charged. I had told my electrician even at the time of installing that there should be a proper power plug and socket for the inverter so that I can take it off the plug when there is a short circuit or something. But he thought it enough to connect the phase to the fuse holder base, the neutral to the supply line and the earth straight to the earth wire. Now the only way I can disconnect the UPS is by pulling out the fuse holder or switching off the mains plunging the whole house into darkness.
My own foolishness in allowing this to happen by carelessness sometime last year annoys and agitates me now, pushing up my blood pressure and increasing the palpitation of my ailing ischemic heart! The interesting part is that I notice the automatic diversion of my attention from the malfunctioning of the UPS to the agitation of my mind and the beating of my heart. The increase in palpitation is almost immediate.
Now the problem at present is not the UPS, but the palpitation and the mental agitation. Normally the agitation should have gone unnoticed, attention being concerned with the main problem, that of the UPS.
That is life. I live with problems shifting attention from one to the next, completely absorbed in each. Nobody bothers to notice the mechanism of how all these are connected to the condition of the body, mind, subconscious and even further inside. It is not enough if one starts noticing things at the age of eighty or eighty-two. What a pity!

Insight Vs Reasoning

All my conclusions arrived at after considerable thoughts are wrong because the premises were either incorrect or were adopted unsuspectingly. The premises were inaccurate because they needed to be questioned and verified.
Every day we find in newspapers and magazines, several well thought out, well reasoned articles that appear unquestionably convincing. We believe them never suspecting their veracity, and are carried away by their perfect logic. We never doubt the authenticity of facts on which the elaborate and logical discussions are made. We thus get cheated by clever writers who manipulate and distort facts deliberately for political and other purposes, and cover them up with perfect logic.
My own thinking and reasoning, I know, is limited and unreliable. It may have several flaws. Yet I have only my own power of reasoning to go by. Sudden solutions coming from inspiration, intuition, or a sudden hunch may be often much more reliable and correct. These would need only a little check up by the reasoning faculty.
Why, if insight is much more reliable, the modern world gives so much importance to reasoning and logic? And we old people are inclined to agree without giving further thought to it?